The next day, Alex called Olivia several times but she didn’t answer.  Finally giving up, she called Serena and asked her to come over.

 

“Are you feeling any better?” Serena asked, sitting down on Alex’s bed.

 

Alex shook her head and added yet another tissue to the small mountain already on her bed.  “I just don’t understand why, Serena.  Why do this to me?  To us?  I love her so much!”

 

Serena grabbed Alex to her and tightly hugged her.  “Shh…don’t cry sweetie.  Don’t cry!  It will all be ok.  She just freaked out.  She’ll be back.”

 

“But how can you be so sure?” Alex asked.

 

“Because she loves you,” Serena responded simply.

 

“Yeah, she sure has a funny way of showing it,” Alex responded glumly.

 

“She’s just scared, Alex.  I mean, come on.  You did get caught having sex last night.  She’s probably afraid that someone is gonna tell her mom…or even worse, your mom.  It’s not because she doesn’t love you.  You know that.”

 

“She won’t answer my phone calls,” Alex said, wiping away a stray tear.

 

“Give her a little space, Alex.  You’re gonna push her away for good.  Don’t add anymore pressure on her.  She’ll come around on her own time.”

 

Alex nodded disappointedly.  “Ok…I’ll try.  God, this is so hard, Serena.  What do I do?”

 

“Just wait.  That’s all you can do.  But in the meantime, let’s go get some ice cream,” Serena said smiling as she stood up and reached for Alex’s hand.

 

Alex stood up and gladly took it.  “Ah, you know just how to cheer a girl up.”

 

Serena grinned.  “Hey, I try.”

 

**************

 

Olivia avoided Alex at school all day Monday.  Even during second period, she came in right before the bell rang and made an effort to sit all the way across the room from Alex instead of in her usual seat right beside her.  Then she bolted out the door as soon as class ended.

 

Alex tried to remember what Serena had said about giving Olivia space, but she found it increasingly harder to do so.  Desperately needing at least a small connection to Olivia, she tracked down Elliot that afternoon by his locker.

 

“Hey Elliot…do you have a minute?” Alex asked, looking up at him hopefully.

 

“Sure, Alex.  What’s up?”

 

“How is Olivia?” Alex asked nervously.

 

“She’s all right I guess.  I tried talking to her, but she thinks people are gonna crucify her for being gay.  She said she can’t deal with it right now.”  Elliot shrugged.

 

Alex sighed in disappointment.  “Do you think there’s a chance for us?”

 

Elliot laid a hand on her arm.  “Yeah, Alex.  Just give her time and don’t give up on her.  She’ll come around.  Love trumps fear.”

 

“When you see her again, can you tell her I love her?” Alex asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

 

Elliot’s heart went out to her.  Giving her a hug, he replied, “Sure thing, Alex.  But hey, I gotta run.  Take care, all right?”

 

Alex nodded absently.  “Later,” she said, turning around dejectedly and walking away.

 

**************

 

Two days later, Alex was just as miserable as before.  She tried to concentrate on memorizing the Krebs cycle but all she could think about was Olivia.  Having held back her tears long enough, she asked Mr. Jenkins if she could be excused to go to the bathroom. 

 

Standing with her hands against the counter, Alex stared at her reflection in the mirror before bursting into tears. 

 

Just then, Rebecca Hendrix walked in, surprised to see Alex Cabot bent over the sink crying.  She never hung out with cheerleaders and pretty much thought of girls like Alex as rich snobs, but she didn’t want to see her bawling her eyes out.  Probably crying over some guy, Rebecca thought bitterly.  Little did she know that she couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

 

Walking over and gingerly placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder, she asked, “Hey…are you all right?”

 

Alex had only seen Rebecca in passing and really didn’t feel comfortable sharing her personal business with someone she barely knew of, but she was feeling vulnerable and just wanted someone to listen.  She shook her head and answered, “No…it’s my…it’s my…”

 

Rebecca rubbed her back.  “Is it your boyfriend?”

 

Alex looked at her as if she were crazy.  “No…actually, it’s…”  Alex sighed before continuing, not knowing how Rebecca would take her sexuality but at the same time, not really caring.  She had already lost Olivia, so losing the respect of someone who was just as good as a complete stranger to her was her last concern.  “It’s a girl.”

 

Rebecca’s eyes got wide.  “You mean a friend?”

 

Alex looked at her.  “No…I mean a girlfriend.  Well, ex-girlfriend now.”

 

Rebecca couldn’t believe her ears.  “Wow, Alex.  I never thought you would be the kind to like girls.”

 

Alex smiled weakly.  “Yeah, well…”

 

Rebecca smiled, too and laid a hand on her arm.  “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m…kinda into girls too.”

 

Alex smiled wider.  “Really?”

 

“Yeah.  I was dating this girl here at school actually.  I really got burned, though.  She dumped me after three weeks.”

 

“Wait, she goes here?  Who?” Alex asked curiously.

 

Rebecca looked down and began fidgeting nervously.  “I don’t know if I should say.”

 

Alex shifted her position against the counter so that she was facing Rebecca.  “Why not?”

 

Rebecca sighed.  “Cuz she’s on the basketball team…”

 

Alex’s stomach dropped.  “The basketball team?”

 

“Yeah…Olivia Benson.”

 

Alex’s heart started racing.  She thought it was going to thud right out of her chest.  “Wait…there was something going on with you and Olivia Benson?” she asked incredulously.

 

“Yeah,” Rebecca confirmed.  “Why?  Do you know her?”

 

Alex laughed dryly.  “Yeah, a little too well,” she replied bitterly.

 

Rebecca’s eyes grew wide again.  “Whoa, hold up.  Don’t tell me you and her were dating, too!”

 

“Emphasis on the ‘were,’” Alex responded, rolling her eyes.  “She dumped me, too.  And I love her so much,” she sighed sadly.

 

Rebecca’s heart went out to Alex.  “How typical.  Yep, love ’em and leave ’em Benson.  Guess she’s back to her old tricks.”

 

Alex gave her a confused look.  “Tricks?  What do you mean?”

 

Rebecca sighed.  “Olivia has a habit of dating—correction—sleeping with girls and then going right back to guys.  She broke up with me and two weeks later I found out she slept with Brian Cassidy.  Be lucky you got outta that one while you could.”

 

Alex shook her head.  “I thought she really loved me,” she said as fresh tears fell down her face.

 

“Wow.  She told you she loved you?  I guess she had to up the charm to get girls to sleep with her, huh?  Word must’ve gotten around.”

 

Alex scoffed.  “Yeah, to everyone but me.  If only I’d known how she was sooner.”

 

Rebecca wrapped Alex in a hug.  “It’s ok, sweetie.  Everyone makes mistakes.”  Pulling back and looking at her watch, she said, “Oh shit!  I gotta get back to class.”

 

“Yeah, me too.  Thanks for listening to me.  It means a lot,” Alex said sincerely.

 

Rebecca smiled.  “Yeah, unfortunately, we have a lot more in common than I’d originally thought.  Listen, if you ever need anything, just give me a call.  Here’s my number,” she said, ripping off a piece of paper and writing her number on it before giving it to Alex.

 

Alex took the paper and put it in her pocket.  “Ok.  Thanks a lot, Rebecca.”

 

Rebecca gave Alex one last smile before walking out the bathroom.  Alex splashed cold water on her face and wiped her eyes one more time before heading back to AP biology.  With every step she took, she became angrier and angrier.  She was determined to confront Olivia the next chance she got.

 

**************

 

That afternoon after practice, Alex tracked Olivia down at her locker.  “I talked to Rebecca,” she said, folding her arms.

 

“Rebecca?” Olivia asked, looking up.

 

“Yes.  As in Rebecca Hendrix.  Your ex-girlfriend.  Funny you never told me about her.”

 

Olivia sighed.  “Alex…it wasn’t important.”

 

Alex snorted.  “Yeah, Liv.  I’ve found out a lot wasn’t important to you.  Like our relationship!”

 

Olivia stood up.  “You know that’s not true, Alex.”

 

“So what was I supposed to be, Liv?  Your dirty little secret?”

 

“No, Alex.  You know why I can’t—”

 

“She told me about you,” Alex interrupted, anger twisting her regal features.  “She said you’re ‘love ’em and leave ’em Benson’ and you just sleep with girls but then go back to guys.  She told me about how you slept with Brian two weeks after you dumped her.  I can’t believe I was so stupid.  I can’t believe I fell for your lies.  I thought you really loved me.”

 

Olivia felt her heart drop.  “Alex, I’m not like that!  And I do love you!”

 

“Don’t lie to me anymore!  You used me for sex, Olivia!  I can’t believe you would play with my heart like that!” Alex accused angrily.

 

“No, Alex!  That’s not fucking true!  I’d never do that to you and you know it!” Olivia yelled, desperately trying to make Alex believe her.

 

“Right…and I’m supposed to believe that because?”

 

“Because I never loved Rebecca!  It was just a fling!  But you’re different.”

 

“If that’s true then why can’t we be together?” Alex asked with tears in her eyes.

 

Olivia’s heart went out to Alex.  Sighing, she said, “I just can’t deal with people treating me like shit for coming out.”

 

Alex took a step closer to her.  “Do you really still love me Olivia?”

 

Olivia felt her heart breaking all over again.  “Yes, Alex.  I do.”

 

“Then prove it to me.  Prove you still love me.  That you’re not that girl.”  Alex leaned in to kiss Olivia, who briefly hesitated, stiffening slightly.  Alex twisted her face in disbelief and turned to walk off when Olivia pulled her back to her and kissed her deeply.  Then taking Alex’s hand, she pulled her in the direction of the bathroom.  Neither of them noticed Brian Cassidy watching them from around the corner.

 

Olivia pulled Alex into a stall and slammed her up against the door, channeling all her pent up emotions over the past few days into her burning desire for Alex.  She consumed Alex’s mouth hungrily as she ran her hands over her breasts.  Then shoving a hand into Alex’s jeans, she rubbed her sex.  Undoing her zipper, she yanked Alex’s pants down with such force that she tore off the button.  She moved down her quickly, stopping to lick around her navel before settling on her knees and arriving at her intended destination.

 

“Yes, Liv!  Oh god, Liv!  Right there, right there!” Alex screamed as Olivia went down on her and gave her folds a delicate tongue bath.  Listening from outside the girls’ bathroom, Brian snickered.

 

Olivia placed her hands on Alex’s hips and shoved her forward on her face so hard that she almost lost her balance.  “It’s ok sweetie, I’ve got you.  I’ve got you,” Olivia said soothingly as she held her up.

 

Olivia plunged her tongue deep inside Alex, thrusting hungrily.  Alex twisted her fingers in Olivia’s hair as Olivia rocked her hips back and forth.  Within a few minutes, Alex’s muscles tightened around Olivia’s tongue as her orgasm hit her hard.  Gently bringing Alex back down solidly on her feet, Olivia slowly stood up and then kissed Alex deeply.  Alex leaned back against the door, trying to catch her breath.

 

“Oh my god, Liv!  Shit!  What did you do to me?!” she exclaimed.

 

Olivia grinned smugly.  However, she wasn’t allowed to gloat for long before Alex had her up against the door and her pants down, shoving her fingers hard inside her.

 

“Fuck, Alex!” Olivia yelled.

 

“Oh, I’m trying,” Alex breathed into her ear as she used her other hand to massage one of Olivia’s breasts underneath her bra.  With each push of her fingers, she slammed Olivia up against the door.  Alex pumped long and hard until she felt Olivia’s body soon shuddering against her.  Collapsing against Alex, Olivia almost pushed her into the toilet.

           

“Damn, Liv!  I almost fell into the toilet!” Alex exclaimed, standing to catch her balance.

 

Olivia chuckled.  “Hey!  It’s your fault!  You fucked the shit outta me!”

 

“How appropriate,” Alex said, eyeing the toilet.  They both giggled.

           

“So…does this mean we’re back together?” Alex asked, eyeing Olivia hopefully.

 

Olivia smiled.  “I guess it does.” 

 

Alex was overjoyed and wrapped Olivia in a big hug.  “Liv, we’ll get through this.  I promise.  Everything will be ok.  We just have to be discreet so no one can tell, ok?”

 

Olivia nodded, relieved that she and Alex were back together again.  “Ok.”  Then opening the stall door and holding her hand out to Alex, she said, “Come on.  Let me take you home.”  The two smiled happily as they walked out the bathroom and headed to Olivia’s car, holding hands.